Martha

I went to Michael's yesterday to get a few unneeded items and use my 40% off coupon before it expired. So I picked up some pretty string from the Martha Stewart collection and took my purchases to cashier lady. Cashier lady told me that I could not use my coupon on any Martha Stewart items because Martha doesn't accept coupons of any kind.

Okay, first of all, who even knew Martha started dabbling in scrapbook stuff? I thought she was strictly pots, pan, over-priced magazine and sheets queen. And second, who knew Martha was so hard up that she needed my $1.60 and therefore would not accept my coupon? Bless her heart. I had no idea things were so tough for Martha. I guess once you're an ex-con, nobody will give you a break.

Feast One Hundred & Fifty Eight
Appetizer
Who is the easiest person for you to talk to?
Vickie. Always.

Soup
If you could live in any ancient city during the height of the quality of its society and culture, which one would you choose?
Not a clue. Maybe Rome. Definitely a place where I was royalty, though.

Salad
What is the most exciting event you’ve ever witnessed?
Magglio Ordonez's walk-off homerun that sent the Tigers to the World Series. That was on TV, though. In person, I'd probably have to go with Hurricane Ivan in 2005.

Main Course
If you were a celebrity, what would you do for a publicity stunt?
I'd do something good for animals. Maybe I could be the UN ambassador for animal rights. Angelina & I could sit next to each other on the UN jet and I could find out what the hell she was thinking when she wore Billy Bob's blood in a vile around her neck.

Dessert
What do you consider the ideal age to have a first child?
Late 20's. I think everyone should have pets first, though.