Why I Don't Watch Morning TV

I usually don't watch TV when I come home in the morning, but for some reason today I switched on Good Morning America while I was changing out of my uniform. Their #1 story was concerning the election results and how the democrats have taken hold of the House for the first time in a bajillion years. Their #2 story was Brittany Spears' filing for divorce from Kevin Federline. I nearly choked on my french toast stick. Robin Roberts actually said, "When we return, we'll explore what went wrong and where Brittany will go from here." After I dislodged my french toast bits, I yelled out, "Who the fuck cares!" sending kitties scattering about the house. I can't believe that Good Morning America is going to address the personal lives of Brittany Slut & K-Fed! My respect for Diane & Robin has dropped a few notches since this morning. I hope he takes her for everything she's got. She's probably worth about $25 million and that dirtbag white trash rapper-wannabe dicksquirt soon to be ex-husband of hers probably hasn't made $25.00 the entire time he's been married to slutgirl. Well now K-Fed is gonna be a rich dude and have all the ladies wantin' sum a dat! I didn't stick around for GMA's third top story. It was probably about Bush's dog having diarrhea or something.